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Unfortunately, now I’m attracted to him for reasons other than just the physical – which makes me feel worse! I feel like I should just give up, stick with the hotties who want only one thing, and realize maybe that is all that is in the cards for women my age. Nancy Dear Nancy, Sorry about your most recent heartbreak and thanks for your kind words about my newsletter. I suppose the question you must ask yourself is, “Are the guys who are 10s in looks more, or less likely to be 3s in the relationship department than the guys who are 7s in looks? I imagine that “looks” 10s have more options than the 7s, so they have less incentive to be more than “relationships” 3s.
Other people get stoned, while still others try to find solace in comfort food and eat their emotions.Some throw themselves into mindless sex, others hole themselves away from the world. but trying to force yourself not to feel only makes things worse. You just got your heart ripped out and a relationship has come to an end. Trying to hide from the reality of the break-up only prolongs the pain because ultimately you’re trying to pretend that it didn’t happen. Feel it, mourn what was lost and you’ll reach the other side – acceptance – that much faster. Selector .selector_input_interaction .selector_input. Selector .selector_input_interaction .selector_spinner. Convinced that there's no such thing as Mr Right, just Mr Right Now?Questioning whether you were completely out of touch with reality, you search for red flags you may have missed, look for everything you could have done wrong, and long for answers.
But when a breakup comes on out-of-the-blue, it’s usually not because of anything you did wrong.And thus, you’re left with this irrational feeling that it’s better to get used by a hot player than to open up to the possibility of love with a “regular” guy. Unless, of course, you take some pleasure in getting used by hot men who have no capacity or desire for commitment. Essentially, you’re saying, if I’m GOING to get hurt, it might as well be by a 10. I would sooner look at it like this: You’ve established that men who are 10’s on paper aren’t always 10’s in relationships. In fact, many of them are 3s and 4s in terms of consistency, effort, and commitment. You can wall yourself off from all men for fear of getting hurt, but that would accomplish absolutely nothing. Abrupt endings—that happen when things never seemed better, and without any discernible warning signs or discussions about his relationship concerns—usually have more to do with a guy’s emotional unavailability or fear of commitment. There’s so much more you want to know and all those things you forgot to say.This isn’t a time to berate yourself about all the things you wish you’d done differently, or chase him to get closure—or another chance. So you’re tempted to call him, The problem is, this follow-up conversation will never, ever be satisfying.Nothing he could say, barring, “Let’s get back together,” is actually going to make you feel better. If someone does not want to be with you, trying to convince them otherwise is a quick and painful road to losing your dignity.